Celebrating Love

skeletal love


Americans have turned Valentine’s Day into a multi-billion dollar consumer holiday, demonstrating love with greeting cards, chocolates, flowers, dinner dates, and jewelry.

And while there’s nothing wrong with taking a moment to celebrate couples and romantic love, there’s a lot more to love than that!

In an exercise in my reflexology certification program, we were challenged to think about our core values—what really drives us to do what we do? Because if we want to market our skills successfully, we have to make sure that our message is genuinely in line with our beliefs.

What I learned about myself is that love really is at the core of everything I do. Loving myself fuels me to do my best every day. Loving the community I live in (and the planet I live on) motivates me to do what I can to make the world a better place. Love inspires me to give caring attention to my clients and help them love themselves and their own healing process. I believe that love is what connects us at a deeply subconscious, spiritual level. Love is at the center of empathy, compassion, strength (what is worth fighting for, after all? Something or someone you care deeply about—something or someone you love). Love is at the core of any passion!

Whenever I am in a challenging situation or dealing with a difficult person, I try to remember this mantra: Pour some love on it. Honestly, even when people are being ugly, they need love. They probably need love most of all.

If “love” is too intimate a word for you, try “kindness.” In 2017’s first issue of Parade magazine, writer Paula Spencer Scott challenged us to make kindness a resolution. Clearly, with everything going on in our world these days, we need more of it. The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation has launched a kindness challenge. One suggestion is to write a thank-you note to a different person each week of the year—52 opportunities to show gratitude and boost happiness! Another suggestion is to make it a point to do something—one simple, kind thing—every day. There’s a book by Orly Wahba called Kindness Boomerang: How to Save the World (and Yourself) Through 365 Daily Acts with specific ideas that make it easy. (Wahba has a TED talk called “Kindness Boomerang” as well.)

Psychologist Harriet Lerner states that the more we see a lack of kindness in public, the more it trickles down into our own personal lives. “But kindness is not an ‘extra,”” she states. “It’s at the heart of intimacy, connection, self-respect and respect for others.”

The good news is that any of us can turn it around. Author Leon Logothetis knows from experience, traveling the globe as an experiment just to see how far he could get relying on the kindness of strangers. He says, “On the surface, we’re in a kindness deficit, but underneath there’s a vast stream of it—if you just scratch the surface.”

Kelsey Gryniewicz of the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation agrees: “That’s the power of kindness—it just takes one person, one act. You don’t need money or a ton of time.”

And showing love (being kind) brings us multiple benefits.

1. It feels good. Literally, it lights up our brain’s reward center. And, there’s a real phenomenon called “social contagion.” So when you do your one small act of random kindness, it gives you a lift, it gives the person you are kind to a lift, and it also lifts up everyone who witnesses the act! Then everyone is inspired to “kind it forward.”

2. It improves our physical health. The article in Parade states that “When patients receive kind treatment from medical staff—better communication, an effort to get to know them as people—they have less anxiety and pain and shorter hospital stays… Doctors and nurses, in turn, feel more engaged and less exhausted.”

I would argue that any time we can use better communication and make an effort to get to know someone as a person—even if we are in a debate with someone who holds a view contrary to our own—we’re both going to have less anxiety, feel more engaged and less exhausted.

3. Kindness improves neighborhoods. This is my favorite example, again from Parade: A candidate running for mayor of Anaheim, CA in 2010 was inspired by signs made featuring a simple message: “Make Kindness Contagious.” (These were signs celebrating the life philosophy of a 6-year-old who’d been killed in an accident.) The young girl’s father was a doctor, and he told the candidate that “in medicine, you can treat the symptom or you can stimulate the body to heal itself.” The candidate wondered if the same principle could be applied to a city. “What if a culture of kindness could stimulate the city to heal from within?” he pondered. He has since started programs to help neighbors get to know each other. They form neighborhood watches to minimize crime, and they are more likely to rush to each others’ aid in an emergency or disaster. He encourages volunteerism and participation in the One Billion Acts of Kindness campaign. He even helped bring the Dalai Lama to give the keynote address on kindness to the U.S. Conference of Mayors. These are all good ways to foster connection and help make up the “kindness deficit”!o

There’s more in the article, related to nurturing emotional intelligence in kids and using kindness to combat bullying, acknowledging that millennials lead the way in seeking social workplaces and recognizing empathy as part of a sought-after skill set, and establishing that kindness is key to breaking down barriers socially and building a more connected world.

The call to action is making kindness a verb—to do kind things and live kindness. “It’s easy, it’s free, it feels good—and it really makes a difference,” writes the author.

So this Valentine’s Day, let’s pour some love on everyone we meet. Sure, you can shower your sweetie with gifts if you have one. But everyone needs loving kindness. Pass it on!

Category : Blog &Health &Massage Therapy &Reflexology Posted on February 8, 2017

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